My girlfriend is in Croatia visiting her family and I was thinking of going over for two weeks to go and visit her because she is over there for three months.
So I went into Flight Centre to enquire about the trip.
“Hi, I’m thinking of traveling to Croatia, can I please get a quote?”
“Sure, do you need me to book somewhere for you to stay?”
“No thanks, My partner is over there.”
“Sure the quote is blah, and since your boyfriend is over there you’ll be laughing.”

Aaahhhhh! It’s not worth correcting her and saying, “My partner is my girlfriend!”
Where is if I had said that I was going over to visit my girlfriend, she would have assumed my friend.

So I’m always being assumed as a straight girl, where as my girlfriends Mum is introducing her to relatives, and they’re replying, “Oh, I never knew that you had a son!”

Anyone been in a similar situation?

would you rather be the best of the worst or the worst of the best?

The first night in my new place. Naturally you have to eat off a cardboard box.... was still yum but...




With icecream yum yum




it got better with bacon and eggs.....




and another night was pasta




and brushetta..




ok. hungry now.

One Friday afternoon at work, it began with a quiet beer and pizza night......





And then we ended up at the pub which started tame enough.....



And then...out came the boobs....




Foz hen decided to flash everyone, in full view of the pub, (i won't paste that pic) and the goup of people at the other side of the pub wanted to take a photo of her flashing the pub...

Ok so I've jumped on the myspace bandwagon.

www.myspace.com/ashleycharlton

I'm still learning how to use it, but I promise that I will never venture away from my beloved livejournal.

Blogging belongs here. Where else am I going to post all of my pictures??

Us on Holiday at Port Macquarie... we had the nicest hotel room ever!!!


 


Us in our sexy ponchos at homebake......

 

Panz and I did our bit selling ribbbons on World Aids Day Dec 1 like the good little lesbians that we are. =)

So we went around to randoms asking them if they wanted to buy a ribbon for $2.

I hate the perception that some people have, that its a gay disease. The reality is that its not.

Siri was a crack up, at one point she asked a woman with a baby to donate.

"Would you like to buy a ribbon for World Aids Day?"
"No thanks."
"Millions of children are dying in Africa of this disease. (She looks at her baby) Unlike your lucky baby"

And then the woman turned around and donated! OMG I can't believe that tactic works!

For those of you who have sent emails/comments wondering about my whereabouts.... rest assured, I am still here!

Quite a lot of things have changed since my last post... and I have been so busy that I just haven't had time to sit down and write about it all!!!!!!!

Atm I am living with my wonderful girlfriend Panz and her parents.  It is only a tempoary arrangement until I can find something more sutible. I'm sick to death of shared housing so who knows whats gonna happen.

I've just been on holidays in port macquarie with panz.  I got so severly sunburnt that it ruined my whole holiday lol! Panz got food poisoning for days and days... but yet we still managed to consume about 10 bottles of alcohol and have a good time.

Oh yeah, we had panz formal the other week. I guess you all wanna see some pictures??? Ok.

   

Things are finally starting to work out.

I miss my cat Max but I think that I’m at that stage that I can finally accept that he’s gone. I’ve moved out of the Enmore Rd house and I have moved in with Panz and her family for a temporary basis. This happened on Friday so I am so lucky to have spent the last three nights waking up besides my beautiful beautiful girl.

Although her family knows me pretty well when you start living with them it is as important to live by their rules as it is to make a positive impression. So that can be a little nerve racking by anyone’s standards. And anyone who knows me well enough probably knows how much of a klutz I am when I get nervous.

So on Saturday we finished all the moving of my furniture. (It’s in storage for the moment.) I have a fishtank with 5 fish and a walking fish (which panz adores) and I was in Panz’ laundry cleaning it out before putting it in our bedroom. (I love saying that!) So here I am cleaning away and like all good mums “You’re not doing it right, here, let me do it “ kinda thing happens. I scooped out the fish and placed them into a smaller bowl on the floor while their home was being cleaned. Now back the funny part. Panz’ mums handbag was left unzipped on a pile of things, dangling just above the fishtank. So Of course, my clumsy self knocked the bag, so that it fell, arse up with the zipper unzipped, into the bowl of fish.

I’m freaking out at her handbag and its contents floating in the water, Panz’ mum was freaking out about the fish, and Panz was pissing herself laughing.

It was actually pretty funny but not the best way to make a good impression on the future in-laws!

CAN YOU FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS?
Directions: A Practical Drill
One of the most common errors made by students during exams, is failing to read, understand and follow the examination directions. Test your skills by completing this drill.
Directions: Read the entire exercise before doing anything else. Do exactly as instructed. Under no circumstances are you to speak or ask a question. Be sure to keep your eyes on your own papers. When you have finished, sit quietly until everyone has finished this drill.


Name: _______________________________


Read every instruction before you do anything.
Proceed carefully and cautiously.
Write your name in the designated space provided therefor, below the paragraph that starts with the word "Directions".
Circle the word "name" in sentence three.
Draw five small squares in the supper lefthand corner of this page.
Put an "X" in each square.
Put a circle around each square.
Sign your name in the lower righthand corner of this page.
After your name, write "yes, yes, yes!"
Put a circle around each word in sentence number 8.
Put an X in the lower lefthand corner of this page.
Draw a triangle around the X you put down.
On the reverse side of this page, multiply 703 by 1,850.
Draw a rectangle around the word "page" in sentence number 3.
Snap the fingers of your left hand.
If you think you have followed these directions, write "I have" in the space provided below.
On the reverse side of this page, add 8,950 and 9,850.
Put a circle around your answer. Put a square around the circle.
Shut your eyes for just a few seconds.
Please ignore instructions four through nineteen, and follow the instructions in sentence number three, to complete this drill.

25 Random Laws

I cannot live where I'm living at the moment. I am angry at Amanda for being so cold, and I miss my cat like crazy. Everytime I hear a noise I think that its Max. I can't sleep at night- So I'm moving.

I'm moving back in with my old housemate Courtney, because we live so well together and never have any issues.

Only thing is that Courtneys lease runs out in December- and I need to get out now.

So Panz' parents have been kind enough to let me stay with them for two months- rent free. (so I can save and pay to put my stuff in storage) The only thing with that is that both Panz and I have promised that when I move out- Panz won't come with me. Panz is their last daughter and they want to hold onto her for as long as they can.

So I get to live with Panz for two months! YAY!

I know that everything happens for a reason. If Max didn't go missing then none of this would have happened. I'm convinced that this is meant to be.

The last few weeks have been tough. ButI keep telling myself,

"You have to have a bad day, because otherwise you won't know what a good day is."

It has been a while since I have updated. And I think that I have a good reason for it.

Before I tell you my story, I’ll provide you with a little background information.
Max is my cat. My entire life. He is the most cutest, most adorable cat I have ever seen. He never hisses, bights, scratches, nothing. He is insanely friendly and he even thinks that he is a dog. Panz bought me Max about a year ago. He is the only family that I have, and my best friend. When my housemates go to sleep each night with their girlfriends, all I have is Max. He keeps me sane and stops me from getting lonely.

When I lived in Marian St, Max was an outdoors cat. But, after moving to a main road three months ago, I have kept him locked up in the house, for fear of the main road and losing him.

Just to let you know, around a month ago, (my flatmate) Amanda’s cat went missing. I had to wake up at 5am for work and it was about 1am when the cat went missing. She woke me up asking if I had seen her and I got up and helped her look the streets. Her cat had snuck out of her bedroom window which she had left open. We found her cat and all was well. I didn’t think anything of having to get up for work in 4 hours.

Two weeks ago, Panz and I went to the Placebo concert, and got home at about midnight. As usual, I called out for Max because he sleeps on my bed every night. He didn’t come when I called. I went searching through the house for about ½ hr looking for him and he was nowhere to be seen. So I knocked on Amanda’s door to see if he was in her room.

Bad move.

She went absolutely ballistic at me for waking her up when she had to go to work the next morning. Hey I’m all for being courteous when someone has to get up early for work the next day when your pet goes missing in my opinion those rules don’t apply. All she would do is yell at me and then tell me that she left the lounge room window open. Because she ‘always does’ that bullshit, because if she ‘always does’ then Max would have escaped a long time ago. Plus it’s been winter so I know that that’s a load of shit. Funnily enough, her cat was locked up safe in her bedroom.

The next day Max still wasn’t home. I went searching the streets with a bag of food calling his name. No Max. I went home, in tears, sat next to Amanda on the couch while I ate my dinner, bawling my eyes out. She didn’t say a word. No “sorry I left the window open.” No “It’ll be ok” No ‘he’ll come back.” Nothing.

I spent most of that night looking for him again by myself.

The next day I went to work. I was told three times to go home. All I could do was cry. I ended up going home around lunchtime as I wasn’t being very productive sitting at work staring at a blank screen crying my eyes out.

So I called the Pound, the council, the cat protection society, and all the local vets in my area to report him missing. He’s micro chipped with all of my correct details and he was wearing a collar with his name and my phone number on it. I printed out posters and put them up all around my area. I did a letterbox drop all around my house and I even visited my old house and spoke to the new tenants to see if they had seen him. I don’t know what else I could possibly do.

Amanda and I have been friends a long time. I’m disappointed in her because I thought that she was better than that. I can’t believe she never said, “I’m sorry for leaving the window open or “I feel bad, let me help you look for him.” I never knew that she didn’t have a heart. The night that she yelled at me for waking her up, she said that she had other issues with me, that I slam the door in the morning and that my alarm wakes her up. That’s it. If she has any other issues with me then she has never raised them. And if her biggest problem with me is that I make noise in the morning then I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Why not talk to me about it and I’ll fix it. There. Issue dealt with. Over.

I can never get a chance to talk to her cause she’s always busy so I wrote her a letter. She wrote me one back saying that she didn’t bother reading the letter that I had wrote her. Her letter back to me however was all about all this trivial shit that she has with me! Nothing to do with Max going missing. This trivial shit was Eg, slamming of doors (we have a massive huge big door without a door handle so I find it hard not to slam it) and stupid stupid stuff like that. If she had an issue with me why didn’t she raise it with me when the issue came up? She then had the hide to say that most of the problems at Marian St were probably all because of me. That’s a lie. The problems we had there was no rent being paid, no one washing dishes (I eat all of my food out of pre-delivered lite’n’easy packaged stuff so I don’t cook) and random’s sleeping over every night of the week. The only person that I have ever had over is Panz. I have respect for that house and the people inside it. I have NEVER used anything that is theirs without asking, I dunno… to me they are real issues. Not slamming a door and having a loud alarm clock.

Panz has hated that house for a long time. She says that every time that she comes over she feels uncomfortable. No one talks to her, despite her throwing hellos around.
I live with Amanda and Laura, and Laura’s sister Erin and her girlfriend Rachel.
It wasn’t like that when I moved in but now it’s a huge family thing and I am the outsider. I feel uncomfortable living there and Panz hates it too.

No one talks to anyone in the house. I’m such an open person. If you have an issue, raise it. If you don’t like the way that I do something, tell me. That’s it. I think that Amanda expects me to be a mind reader. Oh and I spoke to the other girls and they said that they didn’t have any problems with me. I was prodding and prodding them for something that I could go with and Rachel said, “um… One time you left your towel on the line drying for a week???”

That’s it?

Wow. I must be bad.

So now I’m stuck in this go-between place. I miss Max like crazy, its been almost two weeks and he still hasn’t come home. On Friday night Panz and I went looking again for him, and the man in the convenience store said that a woman told him that she saw a cat on the road, not moving. We went back to the place where this woman saw this cat and knocked on the front door near it. The lady living there was very helpful, but she had not seen any cat.- Dead or alive.

Panz is trying to convince me to let go. I keep crying every night as I miss my little man so much. She’s trying to help me move on and try and be the happy confident person that I usually am. Its hard when the one thing that I had that held me together during the bad times is now gone because on an insensitive flatmate. It pisses me off how she would raise other issues with me that she has had bottled up for three months and then raised them when I was at my lowest point. The other girls don’t have a problem with me- just Amanda. Maybe its because she feels guilty and is trying to shift the blame from her losing my cat.

You know what? People make mistakes. She left the window open. I don’t believe that she did so intentionally. But the least she could say is sorry.

I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone with such a cold heart.

Where to from now? I miss my cat like crazy and I don’t like living with someone who can be so cold.

I just want Max back. I don’t give a shit about anything else. I just miss my baby boy so so much.

My parents wanted to see me again on Sunday. I saw them briefly once last year, they realised that I was still gay and didn’t wanna know me.
Its been about 4 yrs since we’ve really spoken, I haven’t spent Xmas with them or anything.

So I said that I would go visit them on Sunday, but on Friday I died my hair pink again and if they saw me with pink hair them they would flip out! So I didn’t go. I didn’t ring them, nothing.

Now Mum is sent me an email asking me why I didn’t show. I have no idea what to tell her.

Any ideas??

Panz said to say that she was in hospital or something…..

I dunno.

So my boss decided to show a company presentation about how well we're doing yada yada and at the end of the presentation- up pops a picture of my face. (as below)

Everyone was coming up to me asking, "How did you get the ACN stickers on your face" and "Wow, those UV stickers are cool!"

I just want to mention that I DID NOT HAVE UV STICKERS ON MY FACE!!!!

Our Markerting Department edited it in....

HMMMMMPPPHHH!!!!

Panz and I went to under the blue moon (goth) festival on Saturday night, - In the pouring rain.

It was still funny to 'categorise' all the goths, the real deal goth, the try hard goth, the punk goth, the teeny bopper goth, the has been goth, the fluro goth... it was hilarious...

Just a couple of pics that we took before we ventured down Enmore Rd for the festival (Yeah we don't look goth, but we're not, and we wern't gonna try to be'

I didn’t realise how tragic my weekend was until I got some feedback from it from a lady at work.

“How was your weekend Ashley?”
“Oh, it was so awesome! Panz and I went shopping in search of a board game, and we bought 101 board games for $8! $8!!!! A bargain! I also watched two 80’s movies, oh, and Panz bought her Mum this amazing spice rack, I’m so jealous of it! It’s the most amazing Spice rack….”
“How old are you Ashley?…….23….?”
“I’m 22”
“You’re 22 and you’re getting excited over a spice rack??? Oh man, you need to get out more!”

Lol. It made me stop and think…..

Wow this weather is annoying. I mean, I'm down with rain. I understand that our country is in drought yada yada yada but does it have to rain for two solid weeks???

If it doesn't stop raining then I might have to build myself an arc to live in to protect me from the flood! Seriously, in our streets, the drains are flooded! The drains are flooded??? How insane is that.

Its like just when the calendar switches over to spring mother nature sends with it a great big 'Fuck you!' storm. I can just see her up there rubbing her hands together with glee cackling an evil. evil laugh. Ha Ha Ha. Thought that Spring was coming did you?? Ha Ha. Well Fuck you!!!!! I'm sending you a storm!!!!!!!! Muhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!

Ok so I'm over ranting about the rain.

Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin dead

 

September 04, 2006 02:14pm

I’ve managed to fill your heads and my journal with useless crap over the last few entries, but haven’t actually sat down and told you about what’s happening in my life.

 

Am I still alive? You ask. Yep, I am. It’s not some person impersonating me and posting in my journal. It has actually been me, too busy to sit down and write about what’s going on, but never too busy to post the odd picture, riddle or meme.

 

Ok. Enough of the shit I’ll just cover the basics. Love, work, study and home.

 

LOVE: Panz and I are still happily together. It’s been a year and 4 months, and I couldn’t be happier. Actually I could, we could move in together, get married, save for a mortgage, and I could get pregnant. How pathetic is that? I’m 22 years old and I actually want to have a baby. If it was a boy we would call it Jackson and if it is a girl I would opt for the name Sophia, despite Panz hating the name. I can’t believe how badly I want to have children, and start a life with Panz. *sigh* That won’t be happening anytime soon.

 

WORK: Anyhow, with work…. I’ve been promoted! Yay! It’s only a three day a week secondment as a “Learning and Development facilitator’ or something along those lines. Basically it means Trainer. Not like a fitness instructor or anything, more like adult learning. Lol. When I define what a ‘Trainer’ really is, it somehow looses its appeal. It’s great when I’m out at a pub or something and people ask that question. “So… what do you do for work?”

“I’m a Trainer”

“Wow.”

Then they look at me and realise that I don’t have the body of what they think is a Trainer. And then comes the time when I have to step in and tell them the true definition of my job description. Then they show that ‘Oh yeah’ I’ll try and act interested smile and nod kinda face, and then slowly loose interest in what initially started as an interesting conversation.

 

I love my job. But I don’t love my job when having to describe it in a pub or club. It’s way to complicated for a night out. I’ll save the complication for my live journal. =)

 

STUDY: This is related to the job. I found myself doing extra hours and not having time for TAFE. So I had to quit. =(  This sucks, but I’m earning way more money now than I would ever earn if I was a social worker and it does bring me to think, what’s the point? I’ll throw that one out for you kids to debate.

 

HOME: I’m living with Amanda and Laura still. And Laura’s sister Erin and her girlfriend. It sucks living with two couples when I’m the ‘single’ one in the house. They cook dinner together and do couple things. Don’t get me wrong, I think they’re all awesome people. But that brings me back to my point about LOVE.

 

That’s enough useless crap to fill your heads with for the time being. I’ll make a mental note to make my next post the usual crazy random adventure of the weird and wonderful world of Ashley.

 

Thankyou, and goodnight. =)

Justins housewarming party.....




A night out at moist.....




Ray and me.....




Me and Alex..

How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?



Correct answer: Open the fridge, put the giraffe inside, close the fridge. This question checks if you tend to make simple things complicated.

How do you put an elephant in the fridge?



Wrong answer: Open the fridge, put the elephant inside, close the fridge.
Correct answer: Open the fridge, remove the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the fridge. This question checks your ability to consider implications from your previous actions.

The Lion King organized a party for the animals: all the animals are present but one. Which one?


Correct answer: The elephant. The elephant is in the fridge. This checks your memory.
Even though you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you will answer the next one for sure.

You have to cross a river, but it is populated by alligators. What are you going to do?


Correct answer: You swim across the river because all the alligators are attending the party. This question checks if you learn quickly from your mistakes.

Stolen from Shirly

( Beer or Vagina )

You know that add... no gary no! (The quit smoking campaign??)

Check out this send up, it's hilarious!!!!!

Today at work I must have spent half an hour searching for the flipcharts that I use for training.

(Giant pads of paper that sit on a stand)

So I asked my boss,

"Pete, have you seen the flipcharts anywhere?"
"Sure I have."
"Where are they?"
"They're in the bathroom."

"Of course"

lol. silly me. That should have been the first place I looked.


random.

I have had the most amazing couple of days.

Wednesday night Panz and I went and saw the scissor sisters in the bigtop at lunar park. We were lucky enough to get a spot front row, centre. It has to be the best gig that I have ever been to. Panz got some amazing photos as usual and they will be updated on www.panzphotography.com within the next week.

Thursday night, off to Panz’ house for a big wog gathering for her birthday. Here, I wined and dined with brother in laws, nephews and nieces, sisters and boyfriends, and hey, even her sisters dogs came along to enjoy the party. We enjoyed a huge feast of about 10 different types of chicken and a million different types of vegatables. We of course, swallowed that all down with a giant pavlova and coffee and biscuits. After that, I felt like I was going to explode because I don’t think that I had ever eaten so much food in my life. Her mother still tried to insist that I eat another piece of pavlova.

Being a wog, Panz’ birthday did not stop there. Fri night we went to Thai Land for yet another feast with all of her friends. When Panz told me that she had booked a table for forty of her closest friends, I had thought that she was exaggerating- at least just a little. It turns out that she was cutting herself short. There must have been at least 50 people there, each coming out to help her celebrate her birthday. We took up almost the whole restaurant and the bill was almost $1000!!!!! I wish that I could draw a crowd like that! The food was excellent, the people were lovely, despite only getting a chance to see my girlfriend for a portion of the evening as she was too busy chatting to friends.

Saturday night was still Panz’ birthday, as we ventured down to the excelsior pub in Surry hills for yet another night of excessive drinking and birthday cheers. As Panz loves music, we watched Fixation play their set and they were brilliant as always. (www.fixationsite.com) We then stayed chatting to her sister for what seemed like hours about anything and everything, and finally stumbled into a taxi home. I had a great time.

In between all of this I took my cat Max to the vet to see what was wrong with his paw. The vet suspected that he had fractured it, and I wasn’t prepared to pay $600+ for an x-ray to confirm that suspiscion. So I allowed her to splint and bandage it, which still cost me half of my yearly earnings, but I’d pay anything to make sure that my baby boy is ok. I’ve got a photo below if you wanna see how cute he looks with a bandaged paw. =)

On Sunday, while Panz was busy studying, (or posting her scissor sisters photos on faster louder but ‘pretending’ to study) http://www.fasterlouder.com.au/photos2/060726-Scissorsisters Sarah from work and myself ventured to Sydney’s Sexpo!

What a fantastic day we had! What an enormous amount of money we spent! By the end of the day our hands were sore form carrying so many bags!! After that we ventured down to ‘Gay Bowling’ night at Strike at Fox Studios. I have to go there again! The team who scores the highest gets a free round of shots and the lowest scoring team gets free lessons! We played tunnel ball with bowling balls and drank excessive amounts of alcohol.

What a weekend! I was so exhausted by the end of it all that I never really got time to play with my toys!!!! Oh well, there is always tonight! =)

( And what would an amazing weekend be without amazing pictures! )